October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and we are reminded of a sobering reality: abuse is not only a problem “out there,” it exists quietly and painfully in the lives of people sitting next to us in worship.
In this article, we share a story from our own church that calls us to open our eyes to the hidden hurt in our midst and respond with the heart of Jesus.
“We walked in the door to worship every Sunday where my spouse greeted others with a big smile. I had a smile on the outside, but I was a shell of a person with a broken spirit inside.”
“After being verbally abused all night and all morning, I would often get teary while I cried out to the Lord during worship because the songs touched my heart. I’d get intimidating glares from my spouse or harsh whispers to stop drawing attention to myself.”
As followers of Jesus, we are called to be people who bring light into darkness, truth into lies, and hope into despair. According to the Institute of Family Studies, 25% of people who attend church 2-3 times a month have experienced violence in their current relationship (see source). We can’t assume that we are an exception.
“Every relationship I had with friends or family was eventually severed with the intent of me having no one to turn to or lean on except for my spouse. Scripture was misrepresented in my home, and verses and sermons were always used against me.”
A Church Learning to Be Equipped
“I felt like I was a burden sending these emails or asking the question: ‘What should I do?”
It is vital for us as followers of Jesus to grow in wisdom, understanding, and equipping to know how to best help those in abusive relationships. The truth is, even with the best intentions, abusers are often master manipulators, and church leaders may miss warning signs.
A Call to Each of Us
When we suspect a person is in an abusive relationship, we cannot assume that someone else will step in. Each of us is called to be alert, compassionate, and ready to walk with those who are hurting.
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves… defend the rights of the poor and needy.” (Proverbs 31:8-9)
This means we are called to:
- Notice – Pay attention. A smile on Sunday morning does not always equal peace at home.
- Listen – Be quick to hear and slow to speak. Sometimes the greatest gift is presence, not advice. Believe their story and point them to trained individuals for help.
- Affirm truth – God does not condone control, intimidation, or abuse. His design for marriage reflects Christ’s love, not fear.
- Offer hope – Remind the hurting that Christ redeems, restores, and gives a new identity as His beloved child.
The Hope We Carry
“By the grace of God, He saved me and gave me hope. He restored me, healed me, redeemed me… My big and bold prayer is that Chapel Pointe would be a safe place where hurting people find the truth and love of Jesus Christ. I found hope in HIM even though this divorce shattered me. In every stage of the process, Jesus met me where I was in my pain, my loss, and my grief over the marriage that I wanted for my life.”
Abuse of any kind is sin, but it does not have the final word. Jesus does. His death and resurrection declare freedom for the captive, healing for the brokenhearted, and life for the weary soul (Isaiah 61:1–3).
Our Response
This month, let us step into God’s call to action: to stand with the vulnerable and to point them to the redeeming love of Christ.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
Need Support?
If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to our Biblical Counseling Center for confidential help and support. You can visit our counseling page or email [email protected].
